Hey everyone, Tom Cartos has a big bundle he has released for free for your VTT Pleasure!
And if you want to try a simple VTT for for your group, I have my EZBattleMap you can try out!
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Video made with: vizzy.io
Audio: Suno
Lyrics: Written, arranged, and edited by me
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[Verse 1]
We were five against the darkness, torches burning bright
The dungeon map was simple, just a left turn and a right
But the Rogue said “I’ll scout ahead,” the Wizard said “I’ll stay”
The Cleric wandered off to pray and the Ranger lost his way[Chorus]
We split the party, oh what fools we were
Now the Bard is fighting solo and his hit points are a blur
We split the party, broke the sacred rule
Now we’re dying one by one like a bunch of level-two fools[Verse 2]
The Rogue found thirty goblins in a room he can’t escape
The Wizard triggered every trap while searching for his cape
The Cleric’s out of spell slots talking to a cave wall shrine
And the Ranger’s been seduced by a mimic dressed in twine[Chorus]
We split the party, oh what fools we were
Now the bard is fighting solo and his hit points are a blur
We split the party, broke the golden rule
Rolling natural ones forever, we deserve it, we’re the tool[Bridge]
The DM’s laughing, rolling dice behind the screen
This is the worst tactical disaster that she’s ever seen
She didn’t plan for five encounters running all at once
But she’s not gonna stop us, we’re her favorite bunch of dunce[Verse 3]
The Rogue is playing dead, the Wizard’s down to cantrips now
The Cleric’s praying to a god who won’t return his vow
The Ranger married the mimic, said it felt like fate
And the Bard? The Bard wrote this song outside the dungeon gate[Chorus]
We split the party, and we paid the cost
Three characters retired, and a ranger’s love was lost
We split the party, never again we swore
…until next week at the table when we split up… on floor four[Outro]
“Okay but what if I just check that one room real quick?”
“NO.”¶¶¶¶¶
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Music made with: Suno AI
Video made with: vizzy.io
Edited with: Canva
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Feel free to use my creative commons music for your TTRPG night. Just please link back here so people know where you got your great music from!
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Music made with Suno AI
Video made with: vizzy.io
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[Verse 1]
The dragon’s dead, the dungeon’s cleared,
We’ve all survived, which is, frankly, weird…
Now gather ’round, my battle-scarred crew,
Let’s split the loot… this could take till morning.[Chorus]
Who gets the goblet? Who gets the sword?
Who gets the cursed ring nobody can afford?
The rogue says “finders keepers,” the cleric says “that’s mine,”
The bard took seventeen percent for “emotional support” time.[Verse 2]
The fighter wants the dragon’s scales,
The wizard wants the dragon’s tails,
The ranger wants the dragon’s teeth,
The paladin just wants a receipt.
He needs it for his temple’s books,
“It’s tax-deductible,” he insists,
While the rogue has already pocketed two.[Chorus]
Who gets the goblet? Who gets the crown?
Who gets the boots that let you float six inches off the ground?
The barbarian says “I SMASH, I CHOOSE,”
The monk says “I need nothing”… but took the magic shoes.[Bridge ]
“I literally died in that boss fight.”
“You were dead for forty-five seconds, Kevin.”
“It was a formative forty-five seconds.”
“You don’t get hazard pay for dying, that’s literally what dying IS.”
“I had to talk to an angel. Do you know how awkward that is? She knew about the thing in Baldur’s Gate…”[Verse 3]
The rogue presents a spreadsheet now,
With color-coded columns, WOW!
Turns out she’s tracked each monster slain,
And calculated “kill-adjusted gain.”
The wizard did the least, it reads,
“I cast Shield seventeen times!” he pleads,
“That’s defensive contribution, dear,
Your dividend is… half a beer.”[Chorus]
Who gets the goblet? Who gets the gem?
Who gets the Amulet of Charisma, we ALL could use it, friend.
The warlock’s patron wants a cut,
The artificer filed a lien,
This is the worst board meeting
this tavern has ever seen.[Verse 4]
Three hours later, tempers high,
The bard has written wills for five,
The cleric’s drawn a pie chart now,
The fighter’s eating actual pie, somehow.
We fought a god and didn’t flinch,
We crossed a lake of fire, inch by inch,
But nothing tests the party’s bond
like sixty gold and a magic wand.[Final Chorus]
Who gets the goblet? Nobody knows.
We’ve been arguing so long the tavern owner chose,
to charge us rent and the loot won’t cover it.
We’re somehow now in debt.
So here’s to the quest, the glory, the fame,
The friendships forged in dragon flame
They last right up until you claim…
the helmet that I saw first!😡GARY, PUT IT DOWN, I SWEAR ON EVERY GOD IN EVERY TOWN😡
…So, same time next week?
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BTW, One of my favorite songs so far
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♪ Verse 1“Brothers, sisters, comrades all,
We answer to no king or hall!
The fat lords feast while peasants starve
So we take what’s ours… and then some more!”♪ Chorus
We’re the Crimson Thread, we’re the Crimson Thread!
Every copper you earned, we’ll take instead!
We rob and we pillage, we plunder each village,
For the good of the people — or so we have said!♪ Verse 2 (Assassin)
I slit a throat in Ember’s Reach,
I poisoned half a duke’s estate,
But don’t you fret, don’t call it sin,
I’m redistributing fate!♪ Verse 3 (Slaver)
We offer jobs to all the poor!
The hours are long, the pay is… none.
But everyone’s equal on our crews,
Equally under our thumb!♪ Chorus
We’re the Crimson Thread, we’re the Crimson Thread!
We sell poison and poppy and nightshade and dread!
We’re thieves and we’re liars, arsonists, town-criers,
But it’s all for the community — at least that’s what we’ve pled!♪ Verse 4 (Pirate Captain)
I burned a ship off Gallows Bay,
I stole its silk and stole its grain,
The merchants had too much, you see,
Now no one has it! Fair for all, don’t you agree?♪ Verse 5 (Alchemist)
My purple dust will cloud your mind,
My moondrip makes the world feel kind,
The people need an escape, my friend,
From the system I help to upend!♪ Bridge
The crown hoards gold! The guilds hoard land!
The temple hoards the gods’ own hand!
So we hoard… well… everything we can—
BUT AT LEAST WE FEEL BAD ABOUT IT, MAN!“Do we though?”
“SHUT UP, Gerald.”
♪ Chorus
We’re the Crimson Thread, we’re the Crimson Thread!
We’d sell our own mothers for a loaf of brown bread!
We raid and we racket, if it moves then we jack it,
We’re wicked, we’re dreadful, delightfully fearful,
We’ll stab you and rob you and then give a tearful
Speech about justice and workers and rights—
Then steal your boots in the cold of the night!♪ Outro
“Someday, comrades… someday the world will be free.
But until that day,”
THE CRIMSON THREAD PROVIDES… FOR ME!
(Raucous laughter. Curtain falls. Someone’s wallet is missing.)¶¶¶¶¶
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[Verse 1]
Boots on the cobblestone
Steel on our shoulders
Maps inked in midnight
Names written bolder
Storms on the skyline
Gold in the game
Raise up the standard
Of the Wandering Flame[Chorus]
Banner of the Wandering Flame (hey!)
Lift it high, call our name (the Wandering Flame!)
From broken ruins to mountain crest
We march, we brawl, we give our best
Guild of the brave and the mad and the true
Make way, the Flame is coming through[Verse 2]
Scars on our vanguards
Tales in our tankards
Oaths bound in laughter
Plans drawn on placemats
From dusty crossroads
To halls of acclaim
We stand together
By the Wandering Flame[Chorus]
Banner of the Wandering Flame (hey!)
Lift it high, call our name (the Wandering Flame!)
From broken ruins to mountain crest
We march, we brawl, we give our best
Guild of the bold and the tried and the true
Make way, the Flame is coming through[Bridge]
Who walks beside you?
Guildmates, shieldmates
Who stands behind you?
Steel and living flame!
When shadows gather
We shout the same
“One for all, all for the Flame!” (hey!)[Chorus]
Banner of the Wandering Flame (hey!)
Lift it high, call our name (the Wandering Flame!)
From broken ruins to mountain crest
We march, we brawl, we give our best
Guild of the lost who found something true
Make way, the Flame is coming through[Outro]
Banner high
Hearts aflame
Step in time
Call our name
The Wandering Flame!¶¶¶¶¶
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———————————————————————————–[Verse 1]
He was just a boy who liked to play with swords
Out in the yard he’d swing a wooden blade
He’d tell me of the battles he would fight
Of all the wicked men he’d make afraid
I’d kiss his head and send him off to bed —
Just a boy who liked to play with swords
I never knew he’d be the greatest of his kind[Chorus]
Oh, my brave boy, my wooden-sword boy
Who ran toward the fire when the rest of us ran home
Oh, my brave boy, my lion-hearted boy
You were more than I knew, more than I could hold
Just a boy who liked to play with swords —
The greatest of his kind[Verse 2 ]
The army came at dusk with torch and steel
They burned the chapel, burned the miller’s grain
They dragged a girl no older than my son
Out to the square to end her in the flame
And from the smoke, a quiet voice rose up:
“Her blood won’t be yours.”
Just a boy who liked to play with swords —
But that night he became the greatest of his kind[Verse 3]
“Run!” he cried, and pressed her to the wood
An arrow found his shoulder, then his side
He swung his father’s sword as long he could
He would not fall, he would not, had not, died —
He was just a boy who liked to play with swords
And for her, he was the greatest of his kind[Chorus]
Oh, my brave boy, my wooden-sword boy
Who ran toward the fire when the rest of us ran home
Oh, my brave boy, my lion-hearted boy
You were more than I knew, more than I could hold
Just a boy who liked to play with swords —
The greatest of his kind[Verse 4]
They say he stood alone against them all
They say the fire lit him like a star
The girl ran past my door with bloodied feet
And told me where my brave boy’s ashes are
Just a boy who liked to play with swords —
But that night he was the greatest of his kind[Bridge]
And the kettle still whistled on the stove
And the bread I’d baked still sat upon the sill
And I heard her speak the words I’d always feared
And the world kept turning when my world stood still
I did not weep — I walked out to the yard
And I picked up the blade he carved at seven years
And I held it like I used to hold his hand
And I told him all the things he’d never hear —
[Verse 5 / Outro sad but proud]
I sit out in the yard where he once played
I hold the wooden blade he left behind
I tell the wind the story of my son
And how he saved a stranger he’d not find —
He was just a boy who liked to play with swords
And for us, he is the greatest of his kind[Final Chorus]
Oh, my brave boy, my wooden-sword boy
You ran toward the fire, and you never did come home
Oh, my brave boy, my lion-hearted boy
You were more than I knew, more than I could hold
Just a boy who liked to play with swords
The greatest of his kind¶¶¶¶¶
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———————————————————————————–Verse 1
Oh, the Fighter saw a castle wall, and said, “I’ll scale it quick!”
He spat upon his calloused palms and grabbed a jutting brick.
He hauled himself up three whole feet, then gravity said, “Nay!”
His greaves came off, his pants came down, his dignity gave way.
Verse 2
The Cleric knelt beside a lad with but a scraped-up knee,
And prayed to mighty Pelor for a gentle remedy.
But lo! She flubbed the holy words, the light turned sickly green—
The boy now has three extra thumbs and smells of kerosene.
Verse 3
The Rogue approached a treasure chest with pick and nimble hand,
“I’ve cracked a thousand locks,” he said, “the finest in the land!”
He jammed the pick, he snapped it clean, the trap went off with glee—
Now half his eyebrow’s on the wall, the other’s in a tree.
Verse 4
The Wizard found an ancient scroll of knowledge long forgot,
He squinted at the runes and said, “I’ve definitely got this lot.”
He butchered every syllable, the scroll began to hiss—
It turned his spellbook into frogs. The frogs are also pissed.(CHORUS — everybody now!)
Oh, a ONE! A ONE! A natural, critical ONE!
The dice gods laugh, the DM grins, our heroes come undone!
Roll a twenty if you dare — roll a one and say a prayer —
For the bard will sing your failure ’til the rising of the sun!Verse 5
The battle joined! The Fighter cried, “I’ll cleave this beast in twain!”
He swung his mighty greatsword ’round with every ounce of main.
It flew right from his sweaty grip, it sailed across the fray—
It lodged inside the Cleric’s shield. She has notes for him today.
Verse 6
The Cleric raised her holy mace to smite an orcish brute,
She called on sacred fire — and set ablaze her priestly suit.
She’s running ’round the battlefield, a shrieking, smoking pyre,
Still trying to remember which god handles “stop, drop, fire.”
Verse 7
The Rogue crept up behind the foe for one sweet sneaky strike,
He raised his dagger, held his breath, and lunged in just the like—
He tripped upon his cloak’s own hem, impaled his own left boot,
The foe just turned and stared at him. “…D’you need a healer, little guy?”
Verse 8
The Wizard shouted “FIREBALL!” and flung his arms up high,
A glorious sphere of roaring flame went blazing through the sky —
It curved, it turned, it boomeranged, it came back ’round with flair,
And now the party’s eyebrows match the Rogue’s — which is to say, not there.(FINAL CHORUS — slower, with feeling)
Oh, a ONE! A ONE! A natural, critical ONE!
Our Fighter’s bare, our Cleric’s hair is smoldering and done,
The Rogue has stabbed his only shoe, the Wizard’s spells are through —
But we’ll buy another round and roll again at dawn, we few!So here’s to every hero whose heroic deeds went wrong,
Who rolled the dreaded natural one and ended up in song!¶¶¶¶¶
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Feel free to use my creative commons music for your TTRPG night. Just please link back here so people know where you got your great music from!
#dndmusic #battlemusic #rpgmusic
Main Channel – @SwampDogGames
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